Not a blogpost, but another lecture on breastfeeding ....

I am one of the lucky mothers- breastfeeding was easy for us in the beginning. My baby latched on with gusto a few minutes after being born, and never looked back. My milk came in quickly, and my body quickly adjusted to my tiny daughter’s vice-like suction. The nursing marathons that accompanied early growth spurts brought me to tears, but this was because breastfeeding was going just as it should. During those times, my girl nursed almost constantly, and was only happy when she was eating. She gained weight at top speed. We both thrived, a happy little breastfeeding team.

Then, at our scheduled 4 month check-up, the doctor was concerned. Scarlett had gained very little in the past 2 months. Our doctor was alarmed enough to schedule another appointment in a few weeks. My confidence was rattled.

My poor girl wasn’t getting enough milk! I started pumping before bed to increase my supply. I started offering the breast at every opportunity, even when it was clear that she wasn’t hungry in the least. I spent more time at each feeding session trying to coax my busy, happy, distracted baby to concentrate on nursing. Since I’m a nurse (oh, what a failure I was for a nurse!), I started to worry constantly about Scarlett’s fluid status, and considered weighing wet diapers. I tried to reestablish breastfeeding by spending hours doing skin-to-skin contact with my baby, when really, she just wanted to play. I over analyzed everything. I was out of control.

At our second appointment, my Scarlett’s weight gain was satisfactory, although much slower than it was in the first 2 months of life. The doctor shrugged and said “Well, it looks like she’s found her percentile”. And that was that. Little did she know how very hard I’d been trying to simply feed my girl- and how in the process I’d nearly driven us both crazy.

I am once again lucky enough to say that breastfeeding for my daughter and I is easy. I’ve learned how to pay closer attention to Scarlett’s cues- she is a baby who rarely shows signs of hunger, and who is too interested in the world around her to be bothered much with eating. Now, I take her to a quiet, calm place to eat if she’s distracted. I am more patient with her- I don’t give up on a nursing session because she’s fooling around. I offer her many ‘snacks’ if she’s not having a big eating day.

I have added few new notches to my breastfeeding belt, and I know my baby even better than before.

I’ve realized that I didn’t know how much breastfeeding meant to me until my relationship with it was threatened. I learned later than most that breastfeeding is hard. It has ups and downs. It means giving up control and allowing the baby to take the lead. It takes patience, and flexibility. And like all good things in life, it’s worth it.